Couldn't Wait for the Weekend Video

I dedicate this to my tween.

Hobos.com

Actual conversation in my car this morning driving 9 year old and her friend to school: Swear to God.

Her: Mom?
Me: yeah?
Her: If you marry a hobo, are your kids half-hobo, half-human?
Me: First of all, hobos are human. Second of all, no.
Friend: Hobos eat cans.
Me: What?
Friend: Hobos eat cans. And if they can't find any, they eat each other. My brother told me. Probably it's from Hobo.com.

A responsible mom would've probably had a serious talk right then about transients and the homeless but "Evacuate the Dancefloor" came on the radio, which, as we know, is my jam, so I dropped them off and came home and looked up Hobo.com.

Holy hobos.

There really is a Hobo.com.


And I totally learned a lot of stuff. Like:

When a 'bo (official slang term) dies, it's called "catching the Westbound".

Freight train is still the most popular mode of 'bo transportation.

Don't drink alcoholic beverages or "act fidgety" when waiting to "catch out" a freight train. That's a sure way to alert the Railroad police.

So, in conclusion, I have a newfound respect for the 'bo....and would like to list here - directly from the Hobo.com website - the bo's who have caught the Westbound, may they rest in peace.

(So hard to pick a favorite, but I think I'm gonna have to go with "Mike of the Weeds.")

HOBOS BURIED IN BRITT;THE HARDROCK KID 

MOUNTAIN DEWSLOW MOTION SHORTY 

CONNECTICUT SLIMPENNSYLVANNIA KID 

HAFEY ZALEA MAN CALLD JOHN 

IOWA BOBLORD OPEN ROAD  

CARDBOARD HOBO HERB  

SLIM JIM

TEXAS BOB  

Fr. JOHN BRICKLEYCALAMITY JANE   

STICK CHICKHOBO JOE  

CINDERBOX CINDYHOBO QUEEN DERAIL 

SALLY LADY FISHBONES  

LIBERTY JUSTICE

PREACHER STEVE

HOBOS BURIED ELSEWHERE;

ONION COTTON             CHARLES NOE

ADMIRAL DEWEY            PHILLIPINE RED

HAIRBREATH HARRY         SCOOPSHOVEL SCOTTY

KING DAVID 1             BEN BENSON

SKEET SIMMONS          ROGER PAYNE

JOHNPREVATIL           HOOD RIVER BLACKIE

WHITE SHIRT SLIM      DOC BELL

HORSEFACE BILL         ICE MAN JIM

GORDON BUDFILER        B.S.BULL

HARRY EDWARD HOLDEN    RUSS GARMS

THE PHILLY KID            ONION JACK

HIGHWAY JOHNNIE WEAVER         CORADO ED

MINNESOTA BOB              HOT SHOT BENSON

JEFF DAVIS            CANNONBALL EDDIE BAKER

ARIZONA BILL            HOBO BILL MAINER

BIGTOWN GORMAN           BEEFSTEAK CHARLIE

HOBO BYRD             NEVADA KID

THE DRIFTER           HOBO BOB KELLY

TEXAS DECKER          SONNY SLIM CHANCE

FRY PAN JACK            SPARKY SMITH

TUMBLEWEED            BUCKEYE DRILLER

WATERBED LOU          HIPPIE JOE

RENO JENO             TROUBLE

F-TROOPER             STEP AND A HALF

SKIN HEAD             GEORGE ST. GEORGE

SAMMIE-TAMMIE TRUXTON   DEE DEE

LAWRENCE OFMINNESOTA     WILLIAM PETTIT

MICHAEL CLITES           JOHN FORMS

MICHAEL GARFINKLE         JAMES MC CLEAN

CHARLES BOYD            PAUL WAYNE MATTEWS

ROGER BOWMAN            DARREN ROYAL MILLER

MODOC                 DEBRA LYNN

PINKY                 FLORIDA BOY BLUE

MELVIN BELLI          TUCSON JACK

CHICO THE KID         COPPER FRENCHIE

JUST JIM              CHIEF

CHICKEN RED           FINGERS

FRENCHIE              BIG RED

BO BRITT EDDIE       NORTHWEST WANDERING STAR

VIOLET JORDAN         TED WELCH

BOX CAR WILLIE        BOB POTTER

JAMES MICHNER         MICHELLE

THADDEUS              LITTLE STEVIE

BIGMIKE               HORIZONTAL JOHN

RED DOG               LIZZARD

MIKEY B.              DEPOT DEBBIE BENDER

EAST COAST CHARLIE    MOOSE

DON COONS             RAY BOWENS

JUDY WATERMAN         GOLD BELL

PAPA SMURF            VERN WATERS

OKLAHOMA SLIM         PEBBLES

BELLINGHAM KID        BLONDIE

ABRAHAM WINER         SPEEDY

DING DONG             30 WT. EARL

TEXAS CHUCK           GENE LIBRATORE

INDIANA HOBO          STACEY MARTINEZ

AMOS                  NORTH COAST BLACKIE

A.D.D.BRYAN           CAROLINE

HARDWOOD ERNIE HANSON    BRIAN MIZERA

RAINBOW               LEPRUCHAN

SMILING SAM           ALABAMA HOBO

MISSOURI MO           MIKE OF THE WEEDS

LITTLE JOHN           STAGGER LEE

AUSSIE TERRY          LUCHENBACH AL GRIERSON

IRONSIDES             INDIAN JESSIE

MATOKIE SLAUGHTER     HATCHET

BOBKEEFER             WHINO BILLY

BIKER HILLBILLY       BOSTON BRIAN

DEVAN COLLINS         HOBO CABBY

JOSHUA LONG GONE      WOODIE GUTHRIE

JACK LONDON           BURL IVES

HARMONICA SPIKE       ALAN J.PAIGE

STORMIN' NORMAN       RED HEAD HONOR JOHN

RUSS JOHNSON          KICKSTAND

CHUCK E.              KENTON GARRISON SR.

SALLY LADY            TEXAS RAMBLER

CHICKEN RED           FRENCHIE

FINGERS               BIG RED

WEST COAST BLACKIE   IRON HORSE TOM

OLD TEX               HOBO BILL NILE

BUZZ POTTER           PEARL of INDIANA

SHOTDOWN WILLS        RAMBLING RUDY

INDIAN JOHNNY         DERAIL [TOPEKA KS.]

SPACEMAN JOHN          COOKING BOB

JAMES ANTHONY COMBS     THE UNKNOWN HOBO [MPLS.]

JEFF PORAZZO             DIXIE PAVELEKA

BILL GLOVER              TEXAS DRIFTER

EVERITT FROM MCALISTER   NEW YORK GREENIE

STEAMTRAIN MAURY         LA BROOMCORN

CONNOR MACLEOD           FRANK "MAGOO" THORTON

HOBO WHITTLER             JUNGLE JACK

SIDE DOOR PULLMAN KID      ORVILLE PEARSON

JASON LITZER              HARDROCK CAJUN

HARMONICA RED              LITTLE GIZMO

POODLE JESSIE            MOSCA

BLACK-OUT BRAD             SLO FREIGHT BEN

GAS CAN PADDY            RED COYOTE

LIL JAY                  UTAH PHILLIPS

JERICHO                  BEAR GREASE

LOCO LARRY

Weekend LOL Video

The Handsome Mens Club

WTF

Seriously. Has the whole world gone crazy?

Check out this Barbie commercial I saw this morning:


I just don't know what to say.

Kudos, I guess, for rhyming "number 1 or number 2" with "puppy pee...puppy poo"...

Annnnnd.....do we all remember Barbie's dog "Tanner" from a few years back?

Yeah. "Tanner".

"Tanner" "ate" his "food" (brown Tic Tac-esque pellets), then you pressed his tail and he pooped them out.

All well and good, except that the "poop" doubled as the "food" and well- I just don't think it's a good message to send to the kids.

So I guess my point, Mattel, is:
More with the fashion, less with the crapping.

Weekend Jam

This is all I have to say:

Best. 2 minutes and 56 seconds. Ever.

Juggle Fail = Porn in Your Comments

OK.

I know.

I haven't posted since Saturday.

But you guys. I am so not a juggler - you know if I get thrown that extra ball it all comes crashing down.

This particular ball was titled "Your 9-year-old has a part in the high school musical and you'll be at rehearsals every night from 6-10pm. Good luck with that."

So here is my laundry room :

...and thanks to a heads up from my faithful reader Linda, I missed THIS comment left on my blog regarding my last post (and I quote:)

 Anonymous said...

He swallowed, eyes still closed, as she wrapped her hand around his slippery, wet shaft. He stood still, letting them look their fill as they slowly filed into the room. Unfortunately, that included using Eyrhaen as a lodestone, both for Herself and for Her people. They stayed on their knees, slapping each others arms aside as they struggled for purchase. The stone beneath her clutching fingers started to crumble.

March 3, 2010 9:49 AM

Umm.....what?  Who are you people?

In other fail news, I took a Valium on an empty stomach Monday morning because of a doctor visit I was nervous about.

Metabolism fail.

The details of everything I did from 9-12 are pretty sketchy at this point.....but a review of my texts revealed that I did do some shopping...and I'm the proud new owner of some big-ass earrings that apparently seemed like a stellar idea at the time.

The following is an actual transcript - no lie- of my texts to my friend Sharon:

March 1st 9:34 am

holy crap may hav over-tranquilized. in the office....spaaaaaaaaaaacy

(Sharon to me)

Mar 1st 9:49 am

Do u need a ride?

Mar 1st 11:01 am

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? im  home-bougjt shoes and earrins blaming on the valoium