Thursday, April 18, 2013

Kindles Are For Porn


Ladies! Let's talk smut.

OK, so by now we've all read the entire Fifty Shades Trilogy , freaked out our husbands/significant others with our jump-started libidos, dropped out of Book Club, and are looking around for our next fix like "NOW what." (husbands/significant others: "Yeah! NOW what.")

Fifty Shades is a gateway drug, my friends. There is a whole universe of competent-to-poorly written erotica out there, waiting to be consumed, like thousands of little dime bags, but with more ripped biceps and heavy breathing. 

However: Just as the alcoholic needs the paper bag, you can't go broadcasting at the travel soccer games that you're reading His Forbidden Submissive, or Beg For It .

You, my friend, need a Kindle .

The Kindle e-books are cheaper than regular books, and you just download them straight from Amazon. No embarrassing book store checkout, no hiding the books from the family (and yes, there is a pass lock, 4 characters, I suggest P-O-R-N).

So below I've listed some of my faves, highly recommended.

And final tip: When someone notices your Kindle and asks "What are you reading?" your answer is this:

"Oh- it's 'Proof of Heaven' - it's a true story of a well-respected neurosurgeon who recounts his near-death experience while in a coma. It's on The New York Times Bestsellers List. It's really interesting."

See? Look at you- intellectual, spiritual, open-minded.

And horny. Let's not forget horny.









9 comments:

McMommy said...

YOU ARE BACK!!!!!!! I can die a happy woman now!!!
P.s. If I die, make sure you erase my Kindle....

Eyvi Sprite said...

May I suggest you combine the recent supernatural craze with your porn? The Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter books by Laurell K. Hamilton start out innocently enough but by about the third book in the series they dissolve into pure unadulterated porn. I'm told they ease off a bit by about book 11 or so, but I wasn't really complaining.

Coco Palenque Torre said...

Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. A year and a half later. Missing my $.99 much?

Merrie said...

I've only read most of the first shades book -- the writing was too painful. But like you, I used the kindle app on my ipad, and nobody is the wiser. ;)

Good to see you blogging!

Ann Harrison said...

Yay! You're here!

I believe I'm a rare one here, I haven't read the Shades books. I know I'm the odd one out because recently spotted at my daughter's Middle School Used Book Fair was the trilogy. Yep, a mother was done and ready to pass it on - all to benefit the school, of course. (The gym teacher and I were keeping an eye on the interested parties, but he said he couldn't look at them the same way when picking up their kids ;-> )

luodidigood said...

Look at the dirty. After a year and a half. Lost my $. More than 99?
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I Am Boymom said...

I missed you!! Hilarious as always, Sue.

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